behind your masks (lies a man I love)
by DobbyRocksSocks
Summary: Steve finally sees past the many masks of Tony Stark.


**Disclaimer - I own nothing you recognise. **

**Challenges listed at the bottom. **

**Word Count** \- 7008

* * *

**behind your masks (lies a man I love)**

* * *

Steve didn't like to admit when he was wrong. He'd been that way when he was short, scrawny and on the verge of illness practically all the time, and it had carried over into his life as a supersoldier.

Carried over even after seventy years in the ice.

It wasn't a good trait, he knew that. He wasn't perfect, and he knew that too.

Usually, he would push past his own unwillingness, and he'd own his mistakes, but with Tony, he'd never been able too and it was galling.

Both because he saw it as a weakness in himself and because he hated that Tony gave off such a vibe that Steve just couldn't bring himself to offer an apology. He told himself it was fine, because Tony had been as harsh as Steve himself, and _he _hadn't apologised.

So it was fine, right?

Steve ignored the little voice in his head that said it wasn't fine at all.

…

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Natasha demanded, a scowl fixed on her face as she loomed over Steve.

Steve looked back, bewildered. He couldn't think of anything he'd done to upset the assassin. "What?"

"Have you seen Tony since we all got back?"

Steve shook his head, no, because he hadn't. Granted, he hadn't exactly been looking for him, but the same was obviously true in the reverse.

Beside him, Bucky's brow furrowed. "You haven't spoken to him at all, Stevie?"

"No, why?"

"He saved your life," Nat growled. "When in all honesty, if I'd been in his shoes, I'd have let you _burn._"

"Nat!" Steve gasped, hurt and shocked and _still confused. _

"Did you think I wouldn't find out, Steve?" she asked, her tone mocking. "Did you think I'd never know that you lied to my face?"

"What? I didn't—"

"You said you'd told him about his parents. You didn't tell me that you failed to tell him the truth and that you then fought him while he was emotionally compromised after watching a video of his parent's dying at the hand of a man standing right in front of him! Did you think I wouldn't find out about that?"

"Nat—"

"Don't 'Nat' me," she snapped. "I don't know if you've bought into the bullshit Captain America legend, or if your head is just shoved too far up your own ass to realise when you're in the wrong, but so help me god you will find him and you will apologise for what you did and didn't do!"

Her words stung, partially because he knew she was right, and partially because he'd been ignoring the voice in the back of his head telling him to do exactly that. He didn't want to face Tony, because facing Tony meant facing the many mistakes he'd made in regards to the man.

"He won't want to see me," he murmured, unable to look at his friends any longer. "I tried to see him after the fight and he walked away."

Nat nodded. "He did, you're right. He went to find Strange, so they could go back to Titan to save the kid, since when the snap was reversed, everyone reappeared where they'd fallen. So yeah, he did walk away from you because there were more important things to deal with."

"It's been a month," Bucky said quietly. "You really do need to talk to him, Steve."

"It's not that easy!"

"Um, sure it is," Bucky replied. "I did it a week after we got here."

Steve blinked and looked up at Bucky, alarmed. How had the two of them been together without Steve knowing about it? And why hadn't Bucky told him about it?

He voiced the concerns, ignoring the scoff that Nat gave.

"We were both up in the middle of the night and crossed paths in the kitchen," Bucky said with a shrug. "I wouldn't say we're the best of friends but… we're civil now."

"But he tried to kill you!"

"No, he really didn't. If he'd been trying to kill us, we'd both have been dead in seconds, Steve. I saw what that suit can do during the fight with Thanos, and we wouldn't have had a chance against him if he'd been serious."

Steve swallowed hard because he'd known that too, deep down. Another thing he didn't particularly want to admit to.

Nat sat down on the glass table in front of them and met Steve's eyes.

"Nobody is saying that Stark is perfect," she said, calmer now. "And nobody is saying that everything bad between the two of you was caused by you alone. But Steve, you seem to have a lot of misconceptions about the inherent nature of Tony Stark, and it's going to affect the team as a whole if you can't get over them."

She gave him one last look and then stood, leaving the room. Steve was left with a silent Bucky at his side, and a mind that couldn't seem to keep up with itself as he thought over his many interactions with Tony.

While Nat was correct and nobody could claim Tony as an innocent party, Steve couldn't stop the realisation that he'd started many of their bad interactions.

The worst part about it was that he didn't even really know why.

…

"Boss, you've a visitor," FRIDAY's cool tone echoed slightly in the workshop.

"Oh, hi," Tony greeted without turning around. "Thanks for checking in. I'm still a piece of garbage, so you can go back to… whatever you were doing, Pep."

"Tony?"

Tony spun around and stared at Steve for a long moment. "You're not Pepper."

"Observant," Steve chuckled. "No, I'm not, but Tony… a piece of garbage? What?"

"Nothing," Tony waved him off. "What are you doing down here?"

"I, uh, I guess I thought we should talk."

"Nope, nada, I'm good, thanks for the offer. If that's all, you can leave now."

Steve could feel himself getting irritated immediately, but he forced it down. "Tony, please. Just… just a few minutes. Please."

Tony sighed, long suffering and tired, and rubbed a hand down his face. "No offence, Steve, but you've got nothing to say that I want to hear. I just… don't want to deal. With any of it. So… if you wouldn't mind, I have a lot of work to do."

"I'm sorry," Steve blurted out. Tony's eyes widened slightly, which just made Steve feel worse because nobody should be that surprised to receive an apology when they've been wronged. "I… I've made a lot of mistakes where you're concerned, ever since I met you really and I just—"

"Did Nat do this? If Nat did this, then ignore her," Tony interrupted. "She's mother-henning and it's not important, she'll get over it and it'll be fine."

"She's right though," Steve admitted. "I never apologised to you for… for any of it really, except for that letter which even I acknowledge wasn't my finest hour."

"It's all done with," Tony said, breathing the words out on a heavy sigh. "And you're all back here and everything is fine so can we just… really not do this."

Steve opened his mouth to try again, but he paused to really look at Tony and what he saw was enough to make him close his mouth again. He looked awful. He was paler than Steve had ever seen him, except for the bags beneath his eyes, which were larger and bruised deeper than Steve thought possible.

He was thinner than Steve remembered, gaunt almost.

It shook Steve to the core, and he stuttered out another apology and stumbled to the door to leave. As it closed behind him, he heard Tony mutter, "Lockdown, Fri. No more visitors today."

…

"How did I not see that he was… that?" Steve asked, a few hours later, sitting in the kitchen with Natasha and Sam. "How did I miss it so completely? I was standing in front of him and didn't notice until I really looked!"

Nat was concerned about Tony, Steve could read it in every line of her face and posture, and even Sam looked concerned.

"He called himself garbage!" Steve added, aghast. "The Tony I know—"

"Let's be honest, you've never really known him," Natasha said. When Steve glared at her, she raised an unimpressed eyebrow. "You haven't. Ever since that first time on the Helicarrier, before Loki, the two of you have been like cat and dog."

"Who's what though?" Sam asked, clearly trying to lighten the mood a little.

"Tony's the cat, obviously," Natasha replied, her lips forming a small smile. "Everything about him is cat like. The way he rubs himself against things he likes or considers his, the attitude when people piss him off, the way he knows what he likes and won't accept anything less. Show me where I'm wrong."

Sam held his hands up. "I got nothing."

Steve rolled his eyes at the pair of them, and leant on the table. "How do I fix this?"

Nat twisted her lips for a moment and then said, "Maybe try getting to know Tony, instead of thinking you know _Tony Fucking Stark." _

"...There's a difference?"

"Mate," Sam said, eyes wide. "Yeah. There's a difference."

…

Steve tried to engage Tony more, but it was difficult since the man was almost never around; and when he was around, he was busy on his tablet, or his phone, or talking to someone else.

He tried inviting Tony to team things, only to be told that Tony was already busy with something else, and if it wasn't mandatory, Tony didn't have time.

He considered making the movie nights mandatory, only to be immediately shot down by the team as a whole.

And they were almost whole now. Thor and Bruce were back, Bucky was at his side, even Clint had returned. Only Tony was missing, because even though he was still an Avenger in name, he'd shut off towards most if not all of the team as a whole.

Even Nat was struggling to get any time from him and he'd _always _had time for Nat.

It was another month after the conversation in the workshop that Steve finally caught Tony alone again. The circumstances could have been better, it being a little after 3am, and Steve still shaking slightly from his nightmare, but he'd take what he could get.

Tony was in the kitchen, breaking eggs to make an omelette. He looked a little like a deer caught in headlights when Steve entered the kitchen, but he continued what he was doing while Steve busied himself with the espresso machine, pressing the button for hot chocolate without a second thought.

"You're not who I thought you were," Steve whispered into the silent kitchen. "I'm sorry I never realised that."

"You believed the same things everyone else does, Rogers. Nobody can fault you for that; a mask is there to _mask _things. It's kinda the point."

"The rest of the team saw past it though," Steve said quietly. "I never bothered to even look. I've been a shit teammate to you, and a shit friend. I want to do better."

"Did you just… cuss? Twice?"

Steve snorted. "Are you ever going to let that go?"

"Not as long as I'm still breathing," Tony confirmed, his lips tilting slightly.

"When I woke up," Steve said, taking the hot chocolate from the machine and wrapping his hands around it. "When I woke up, they showed me newspaper articles and videos of you. I don't know why, but everything I saw…"

"Probably at least half of it was true. Maybe even sixty-seven percent," Tony said with a shrug. "I'm no saint, Rogers, so don't go putting a halo on my head. It'll slip before I even eat breakfast."

Chuckling, Steve shook his head. "No, I know you're not a saint—none of us are. I just… I guess I realised recently that I'd built up an image of you in my mind and… you're not like I thought you were."

Tony finished his omelette and slid it onto the plate. Then he sighed and offered the plate to Steve. Steve tried to say no, but his stomach growled at the smell and Tony quirked his eyebrow.

Steve took the omelette with a quiet thanks and watched Tony begin a new one.

"I should have spoken to you," he admitted quietly. "If… If I'd spoken to you—about a lot of things—a lot of what happened could have been avoided."

Tony nodded silently and then sighed. "You weren't the only one who fucked up, Steve. God knows I could have, and should have, done some things differently. It happened too fast and I got caught off guard and then… I just didn't know how to fix things. Didn't want to fix things for a while."

Steve knew how much that must have cost Tony to admit.

"Going forwards… you still want to be on the team, right? I haven't… I don't want this to be the end of us."

"I'm still Iron Man," Tony replied quietly. "I'll always be Iron Man. I just have a lot going on at the moment and it's… yeah. It's a lot."

"Anything any of us can do to help?"

Tony shook his head. "Not really. SI is having issues that are taking up a lot of time at the moment and—"

"I thought you made Pepper the CEO?"

"I did, but I still own the controlling shares in the company, which means when shit hits the fan, it's me that takes the brunt. She's the CEO, but I'm technically still the boss."

Steve nodded.

"And then there's the kid."

"Peter?"

Tony nodded. "He's… struggling with what happened on Titan which isn't all that surprising, considering. He has nightmares a lot and, well, I guess speaking to me is the only thing that eases that."

"You're good with him," Steve said quietly. "I saw that in Wakanda. I, I guess I was surprised how close you were, how much you… coddled him."

"He's a kid," Tony replied with a shrug. "And it's my fault he got involved in… any of this, I suppose. If I'd left him alone, he's still be swinging around New York, happy to help with muggings and vandalism and other small crimes, you know? I… It's my job to make sure he's okay now."

"He loves you. Anyone can see that, just from the way he looks at you."

Tony blinked and visibly shook himself. "Yeah. I. Yeah, I know that. The feeling is mutual. He's the closest thing to a… to a son I've ever had. That I'm ever likely to have."

"You don't know that," Steve argued. "You could still—"

"I've learnt my lesson enough times to know that it won't happen because I won't let it," Tony interrupted, his voice slightly hardened. He slid the second omelette onto a fresh plate and put it on the breakfast bar, facing Steve. "I've tried to have both Iron Man and a normal life and it's not… it's not worth it. It's not worth putting more people in danger."

Steve didn't know what to say to that, mostly because he agreed with the sentiment. With the life they lived, it was hard to even contemplate bringing anyone else in, for fear of putting them in harm's way.

"Well, if there's anything any of us can do… we'd all like to help, Tony."

Tony nodded. "I'll keep it in mind, Cap. It'll blow over soon hopefully, but, I, erm. Thanks."

…

Time proved Tony's prediction true.

When he showed up to movie night, he looked worn out but happier than Steve had seen him since… a really long time ago.

The team were spread out around the room, and Steve told himself he wasn't disappointed when Tony immediately slumped into the seat beside Thor.

If asked what movie they watched that first time, Steve wouldn't have had a clue, his attention firmly fixed on the genius. There was still something about him that was different, something Steve couldn't put his finger on.

When Tony fell asleep halfway through the movie, Steve counted it as a small victory. Clearly Tony felt comfortable—safe, even—with them, and that was something that Steve wouldn't have put money on if asked.

Maybe they could heal, after all.

Following from that, Tony was around the tower a little more. Not overly so, but it wasn't so unusual to run into him in the halls or the kitchen or, occasionally, in the large living area. He came to more team activities and seemed to settle back into his place in the team.

He was as comfortable as ever with both Bruce and Thor, and the relationship between the three of them was one of fondness, affection and intelligence. It was mind blowing to hear them talk sometimes—Steve wasn't a slouch in the mind department, but he hadn't even realised there were words with that many letters that existed.

He ribbed Clint jokingly, smiling slightly when Clint took it with a laugh and a quickly returned quip of his own. He even joked with Bucky or Sam occasionally, or rather, he laughed at the two of them throwing barbs at one another.

He even smiled at Steve sometimes.

He stuck closest to Nat, though Steve didn't truly understand the relationship between the two of them, but slowly yet surely, he integrated himself back in.

It was good to see.

…

Clint was still laughing when Tony finally landed in the mud.

"You looked like a ballerina!" he choked out around his laughter, and Tony scowled at him.

"Do me a solid and go take a nap face down in that dirt over there," he muttered. "Are we done here?"

Steve nodded, gesturing to the Quinjet. Nat was tugging Clint onboard in front of them by his ear, his laughter replaced by yelps. Tony's lips lifted up into a smile at the sight.

"Get on the jet, Shellhead," Steve said, nudging Tony's shoulder with his own.

They flew back in relative quiet, and within minutes, were landing on the top of the tower.

"Get me a scotch, I'm starving," Tony requested, when he saw Nat heading straight for the bar.

She snorted but nodded.

"Maybe we should order some actual food," Sam suggested, rolling his eyes.

"Fuck you, scotch is as close as I've got to a religion," Tony replied.

"I'm craving Thai," Sam added, shaking his head with amusement at Tony.

"Tony doesn't like Thai," Steve said absently, shucking his gloves and helmet. "Maybe Indian?"

He didn't see the surprised looks aimed his way, or the slight blush colouring Tony's cheeks.

"Chinese is clearly the superior choice," Bucky said, after a slightly awkward pause.

"I can get behind that," Tony agreed, as Clint whined for pizza. "We had pizza last time, Barton, hush your gums."

"Someone always eats the leftover Chinese in the middle of the night," Clint pouted. "Pizza gets left alone."

"Because Chinese is clearly superior," Bucky reiterated.

"You heard the man, FRI baby," Tony said, accepting the tumbler of scotch from Natasha. "Chinese. Send the regular order, plus an additional one of Clint's for leftovers."

"You're a god amongst men, Tony Stark," Clint announced grandly, making a kissy face at the genius.

"And you're a pain in the ass," Tony replied, slumping down on the sofa beside him. "These are the fates we must accept."

Clint pouted dramatically. "Jackass."

Steve watched on fondly, and thought that maybe, finally, they were becoming more than a team of superheroes thrown together.

They were finally becoming a family.

…

"I, uh."

Bucky looked up, frowning at Steve when he didn't finish his sentence.

"What's up, Stevie?"

Steve shook his head and slumped down on the sofa beside Bucky. "I, uh."

"We've got that far twice. Wanna try and add a few more words? We might even make it to a full sentence before the sun goes down."

"Jerk."

"Punk. What's on your mind?"

"I think I'm in love."

Bucky blinked. "That's… different. With who?"

"Tony."

"Wow. You've got a really funny way of showing it, Pal."

Steve glared at him for a long moment before he sighed. "I didn't… I didn't know? I don't know, Buck. I'm so confused."

Bucky bit his bottom lip. "Are you sure this isn't just… residual guilt? I'm not saying the guy isn't lovable but, well, you weren't exactly his biggest fan, even just a few weeks ago."

"I think maybe this was why? Subconsciously, maybe."

Bucky hugged a pillow to his chest and pulled his legs up. "I want you to be happy, Stevie, you know that, right?"

"Of course I do."

"Then please know that I'm not trying to… stop you from doing whatever you want to do. But… Stevie, you can't go making love confessions to the guy, okay? He's only just started being around the team again, and… it's a sure fire way to chase him off. You know that, right?"

Steve sighed but nodded. "Yeah. I do know that. I just… how did I not know?"

"Maybe you didn't want too."

…

"Iron Man, how are you getting on disabling that bomb?" Steve asked, voice a little frantic, because the countdown was getting a little too close to the end for comfort.

"It's finicky, give me a second," Tony replied, hovering in midair close to the bomb. "I nearly have it."

"Maybe we move, just in case?" Nat suggested, hovering on the ground below Tony. "And Tony, get ready to fly out of the blast range."

"I've got it," Tony repeated, and seconds later, the countdown stopped as Tony gave a little victory cheer. "Right, that's that done, time to finish up these bots. Fucking _Doom_."

"You said it," Clint agreed, ending on a huff as he took a glancing blow to the elbow.

"Let's get this finished," Steve agreed, throwing his shield. It rebounded off of three of the doom bots before it flew back in Steve's direction."

They were almost done when Steve heard Nat yell out for Tony, and Tony curse up a storm over the comms before silence reigned.

"Iron Man? Iron Man, do you copy? _Tony_!" Steve cried, not receiving an answer. He left his post, scrambling for Tony's last location, his heart beating so hard in his chest he was slightly afraid it would burst through his ribs.

Nat made it there before him, and was pulling the faceplate away when Steve dropped to his knees beside Tony's prone figure.

His eyes were still open, but blood stained his face, glistening slightly in the sun, the wetness and freshness of it clear.

"M'fine," Tony huffed out. "Promise."

His eyes were on Natasha, and she nodded, swallowing hard. "What have I told you about falling out of the sky like that?" she asked.

"Not to do it?"

"Exactly! You're going to make me go grey, Tony Stark!"

Tony laughed and then groaned. "Ugh. Hang on."

He frowned and the suit disappeared from around him, settling into the new arc reactor in Tony's chest. Steve winced when he saw the blood patches all over his body.

"We need to get the medevac in for you," he said, wanting to reach out and touch, but knowing his touch likely wouldn't be welcome.

"Steve, I'm fine," Tony said again, and oddly, he did sound stronger than he had only seconds before.

Steve frowned, because Tony was sitting up, wincing slightly.

"Extremis works fast," Tony said with a shrug.

"Extremis? What?"

It was Tony's turn to frown. "How did you think I was able to handle the gauntlet, Steve? Pure spite?"

"I… I think I just… didn't think about it?" Steve admitted. "So you—"

"After Siberia," Tony murmured. "Yeah."

Steve winced because he knew there was more to that statement and he knew he probably didn't want to know even though he _should. _

"But you're okay?"

"I'll be back in perfect shape before the clock strikes midnight, Spangles," Tony assured him, standing with Nat's help.

When Steve looked up, there was a gleam in Natasha's eyes that made understanding dawn all at once. Natasha knew about the Extremis—and the reason Tony had needed it—and suddenly her harsh words all made sense. No wonder she was so protective of Tony these days.

"Come on, let's finish up and go home," Tony said, holding a hand down for Steve to take.

Steve thought the gesture meant much more than pulling Steve to his feet. The brief eye contact he shared with Tony confirmed it for him.

…

"Hey, you good?"

Steve startled and turned to see Sam taking a seat on the barstool closest to where Steve stood at the end of the bar.

"Fine," he replied automatically.

"Yeah, I was surprised by that too," Sam commented, nodding to the dancefloor, where Steve had been looking. Pepper and Rhodes were dancing close, the pose one of lovers, rather than friends. "Apparently, it happened very shortly after the battle with Thanos."

Steve blinked. "Poor Tony."

Sam nodded. "He's had a really shit few months, huh?"

"Shit few years, I think," Steve corrected. "Hopefully… hopefully from here on out, it'll get better for him."

"Well, the last few months have been pretty good, right? The team is tighter than it's ever been, according to Clint."

"That's true," Steve agreed, his lips tilting up into a small smile. It _was _true. They'd been cohesive both on and off the battlefield for a while now, it was brilliant. They were the team Steve had always wished for but hadn't thought possible.

He and Tony seemed to have naturally fallen into the leadership positions this time in a way they never could have done before. Of course they still argued, but they actually talked things out now, instead of exploding at one another.

"Hey Spangles," the man himself greeted, stepping up so he was between Steve and Sam. "Birdbrain."

"I thought Clint was Birdbrain?" Sam asked, raising his eyebrow.

Tony shook his head. "Nah, Clint is Legolas. Or Merida."

Sam rolled his eyes. "I'm going to go find Nat, see if she knows any of the hot agents over there."

Steve shook his head but Tony laughed. "If you want an introduction to the hotties, you just had to say so, Wilson. I gotchu."

He gestured for Sam to come with him, leading him over to the group of women standing together on the edge of the dancefloor. Steve couldn't hear what was being said, but there was laughter and bright smiles all around as Tony talked.

When the genius stepped back a few minutes later, the women were chatting happily to Sam. Tony returned to Steve's side, and placed his now empty glass on the bar, gesturing to the barman for a refill.

"How you doing, Cap? Still hate these things?"

Steve felt his cheeks heat up. "Am I that obvious?"

Tony held his thumb and index finger close together. "Little bit."

"I'm fine," Steve said. "I guess I just don't love feeling like I'm on show for the masses. I had enough of that back in the war."

Tony nodded. "See, you're looking at it all wrong. Maybe if you thought of it as a night out with your team, you'd feel better about it."

Steve nodded ."Maybe you're right. I uh, couldn't help noticing Pepper and Colonel Rhodes?"

"They make a beautiful couple, don't they?" Tony asked. "And no, that wasn't my initial reaction."

"I can imagine," Steve replied. He knew he'd have been inconceivably hurt had he learned that Bucky and Peggy had stepped out together. "What did you do?"

"Ahh, ranted a lot. Might have smashed a few things. You, uh, remember the 'garbage' comment when you came down to the lab? I'd just found out. That should tell you about how well I handled the news."

Steve winced. "You're okay now?"

Tony nodded. "I'm good. And I am genuinely happy for them both. If anyone was good enough for Pep, it's Rhodey. I… it hurt, of course it did, but… my reaction was stronger than it would have been had I found out at any other time. A lot happened all at once, and admittedly, I kinda lost my shit for a while. It's better now."

"That's good. I'm glad you're happy, Tony. Truly."

Tony smiled, a real smile that brightened his face. "Have you danced yet, Cap?"

"I don't dance," Steve said, his cheeks flushing with heat once more. "I guess I never learned how."

Tony blinked and then shook his head. "That won't do. Come on," he said, offering his hand.

"I, what?"

"I'm going to teach you to dance," Tony said, eyes twinkling. Until they dulled and he hesitated. "Unless you don't want to dance with a man? I know it was different for you when you were growing up."

"No, no," Steve said, placing his hand in Tony's. "I'd… I'd really like that, Tony."

Tony brightened again and tugged Steve over to the dancefloor. He placed Steve's hands on his hips and placed his own on Steve's shoulders. They began to sway together, and Tony smiled up at him.

"Easy, right?"

Steve nodded. "Maybe it's all about having the right partner."

…

"Politics tire me out," Tony whined, loosening his tie before the two of them had even made it out of the meeting room.

Steve could only nod his head in agreement. He was a supersoldier, and yet, the UN had managed to give even him a headache with the amount of paperwork they'd forced them to go through.

"Dinner and then done for the day?" Tony suggested.

"Shower, room service and then done for the day?" Steve countered and Tony nodded.

"Even better plan," he agreed.

They checked into the hotel the UN had reserved for them quickly and made their way up to their room. Tony was asking what Steve fancied to eat when he opened the door and abruptly stopped talking.

Steve looked over Tony's head and realised what the problem was. It was a nice enough room, spacious and clean and _there was only one bed_.

"Ah. Do you… should I go down and ask them to switch our rooms or get me another one?" he offered.

Tony seemed to jolt into action and shook his head. "No, there's a phone, I'll just ring down to the main desk."

Steve nodded and left him too it, exploring the room a little more and placing their bags down by the window. He heard Tony speaking angrily, but he didn't want to pay too much attention to Tony's reasons for not wanting to share a bed with Steve.

Finally, Tony slammed the phone back into its cradle. "Apparently they're all booked up for the night."

Steve sighed. "It's a big bed," he said, eventually. "We can share. It's fine, Tony, it's only one night."

Tony nodded and rubbed a hand down his face. "Do you wanna shower first. I'll order the food?"

Steve nodded gratefully and grabbed some clean clothes from his bag before he disappeared into the bathroom. With the door closed and locked, he allowed himself to panic just a little. How the hell was he going to have Tony in the bed beside him and not make a complete and utter idiot out of himself?

He showered quickly and dressed in sweats and a t-shirt exiting the bathroom with a plume of steam.

Tony was lounging on the bed with his phone in his hand, typing rapidly. He barely glanced up when Steve approached him.

"You okay?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah, fine," Tony confirmed sitting up. "I'm going to go shower, food should be here soon."

"Oh, what's yours, so I don't eat it by mistake?"

Tony shrugged. "I got a selection of stuff from the menu, eat whatever you like. We both like all of it."

Steve nodded and Tony disappeared into the bathroom. Steve flicked through the channels on the tv until there was a knock on the door. When he opened it, he found a concierge with a laden trolly.

Steve tipped him and pulled the trolly into the room, parking it on the other side of the bed. Tony certainly had got a selection, not that much of it would be wasted. Steve was starving, they hadn't had a long break all day so he'd had to make do with a sandwich eaten hastily while Tony inhaled three cups of coffee mid way through the meeting.

Tony appeared a few minutes later, smiling tiredly at Steve. "Everything okay?" he asked, nodding to the trolly.

"It's great," Steve replied. "Thanks."

Tony nodded. "I figured you'd be hungry after today."

They ate in a comfortable silence, watching a really bad action movie on tv. Tony snorted when Steve complained about the action sequences being unbelievable, and soon the pair of them were laughing uncontrollably.

With their lives, nothing was unbelievable anymore.

They cleaned up after themselves and climbed into bed. Tony turned the light off and shifted onto his side. Steve stayed on his back, practically vibrating with tension.

"I thought you were okay with sharing, Steve?" Tony murmured tiredly.

"I am."

"Uh huh. I can feel the tension coming off you in waves. I can sleep on the floor or something, if you're uncomfortable."

"No! No, you're fine. I'm fine."

Tony snorted. "Sure you are."

"I just… I'm a cuddler," Steve hedged. "I don't want to octopus all over you and make things… awkward."

Chuckling, Tony shifted, and suddenly, his arm was resting over Steve's chest, and his leg was hooked over Steve's thigh. "Better?"

He really shouldn't and he knew it, but Steve relaxed under the touch and turned into it slightly. "Lift up?" he requested.

Tony did as he was asked, and Steve laid his arm beneath Tony's head. "Better. I… thank you."

"Uh huh. Sleep, Steve. Tomorrow is going to be as headache-y as today was."

Steve groaned. "Ugh."

"At least we can go home after, right?"

"Hmm. Goodnight, Tony."

"Night," Tony murmured, tone already laden with sleep. Tony snuggled a little closer and within minutes his breathing had evened out.

Steve took a few moments to just enjoy having Tony so close, before he slipped into sleep himself.

…

"Son of a bitch, Steve are you okay?" Tony cried out.

Steve lay on the ground, wind knocked from him. He hadn't been expected the blow, and it had taken him by surprise enough to knock him off balance.

He tried to tell Tony he was okay but he couldn't seem to get his breath enough to speak. Tony landed beside him a few second later.

"Shit," he muttered, looking down at the super soldier. "Someone get me a medevac, stat," he said into the comms.

"M'fine," Steve huffed out, but his vision was starting to go hazy.

"The hell you are," Tony replied. "Don't close your eyes honey, stay with me. Look at me please."

He'd flipped his helmet, and was leaning over Steve, pressing down on his chest.

"Tony—"

"Don't try and talk," Tony begged, glancing down at his chest again before he looked back at Steve's face. "Just keep your eyes on me, okay. Stay with me. Where's the goddamn medevac?"

"A minute out," Nat's voice said, over the comms. It seemed strangely distant to Steve and he frowned.

"Don't you dare close your eyes, you shit," Tony said, lifting the hand that wasn't pressing into Steve's chest to Steve's cheek. His touch was gentle, belying his words. "Steve, please, stay with me. You can't leave me now, not now."

Steve wanted to tell Tony that he was fine, that he wasn't going anywhere, but he couldn't get the words out. Darkness was encroaching on his vision around the edges, and when he blinked, it took a considerable amount of effort to blink them back open when Tony begged him too.

"Medics will be here in a few seconds, Steve, just stay with me, okay. You're going to be okay, Steve. You have to be."

Why was Tony crying? Steve didn't like Tony being sad. Tony was supposed to always smile, Steve liked it when Tony smiled.

"Steve, open your eyes," Tony begged.

Steve forced them open. He hadn't even realised they'd closed.

"You don't get to do this to me, you bastard," Tony cried above him. "Not now! I love you, you can't—"

They was a commotion nearby and then Tony was gone and an unfamiliar face was peering down at Steve.

"We need to get him to the hospital," a voice said. "Quickly. We're losing him."

Steve gave into the welcoming darkness.

…

Waking up in hospital was never fun. Steve looked around the room, wincing when the movement pulled at something unpleasant on his chest. A sniffle made him turn his head, and his heart broke when he saw Tony curled up tightly on the chair by the bed, sleeping but clearly unhappy.

He had tear streaks on his face, made clear because of the dirt there. He obviously hadn't even showered post battle. His hair was a mess, as though he'd spent a long time running his hands through it restlessly.

Steve was hesitant to wake him, not knowing how long he'd been there, and how long Tony had been without rest.

Sleep beckoned Steve and he barely had time to reach out and cover Tony's hand with his own before he was pulled back down into unconscious.

…

The next time Steve woke up, it was to find Bucky at his bedside, reading something on a tablet.

"Buck?"

Bucky looked up and smiled brightly at Steve. "You're awake! About time, you lazy shit."

Steve snorted and then winced. The pain in his chest had diminished a lot, but it was still there.

"Sorry," Bucky said, standing to pour Steve a cup of lukewarm water from the jug on the table. Steve didn't think he'd ever had a better drink in his life.

"What happened?"

"You took an arrow straight through your chest," Bucky said, his face scrunching. "You, it—" he cut himself off, shaking his head. "It wasn't good, Stevie. They weren't sure if you were going to make it for a hot minute there."

"The rest of the team is okay?"

Bucky nodded. "Tony is a bit of a mess, but physically everyone is fine."

Steve suddenly remembered the first time he woke up, with Tony asleep in the chair. "Tony?"

"He feels guilty," Bucky said gently. "And he's also hiding a little bit. We all heard what he said on the comms."

"You _don't get to do this to me, you bastard! Not now! I love you, you can't—" _

Steve swallowed hard. "He… he loves me."

"Apparently," Bucky agreed. "Question is, what are you going to do about it?"

Steve nodded slowly, but didn't answer. He didn't know what he was going to do. He knew what he _wanted _to do, but he didn't… if Tony had just said it in the heat of battle, or because of fear or—"

"I can hear your thoughts from here."

Steve blinked and looked over at the doorway, smiling at Nat when she entered and perched on the bottom of his bed.

"You should tell him that you love him too," she added, when he didn't say anything. "And maybe, you know, be happy. Together."

"You've changed your tune," he replied quietly.

Nat rolled her eyes. "Just because I called you out on your fuck ups, doesn't mean I'm not your friend too, Steve. You know I am, and honestly the two of you could be gloriously, horrifically, sappy together. If, you know, you both get your heads out of your asses and actually talk."

Bucky snorted, shrugging when Steve looked at him. "She makes sense. Listen to the wise spider."

"I'll speak to him if he comes in," Steve promised.

Nat shook her head. "He won't come back. He's got FRIDAY obsessively stalking the hospital to make sure you're okay, but he… you know what he's like Steve. You're gonna have to go to him on this one. He won't put himself out there, not again. Not after Pepper."

Steve… Steve knew that. He nodded. "I know. I guess… I just hoped he'd have more faith in me."

Nat snorted. "You're most definitely the optimistic one in that relationship."

…

Nat's prediction proved true, and Steve didn't see Tony again until he returned to the tower fully healed a few days later.

He was a little impressed, if he was honest, that Friday opened the workshop to him when he made his way down there upon his return.

"Hey," he greeted, smiling at the way Tony startled slightly.

"Hey. You look good. Better than the last time I saw you anyway," Tony said, spinning his chair around to look at Steve. "How are you feeling?"

"I could say the same thing about you," Steve replied quietly. "And I'm fully healed, all back in working order."

Tony nodded. "That's good. I, erm—"

"I love you too."

Tony blinked. "You don't have to do this," he said after a long pause. "I don't… I don't need pity, Steve. I don't need you to pretend just to make me feel better and I'd rather we just—"

"I've been in love with you for months," Steve said, talking over Tony's rambling. "I just didn't think I deserved you. And I was scared that you'd tell me to fuck off."

"...You just said 'fuck'."

"I did."

"You… don't love me."

"I do."

"You can't."

"I can."

"Steve—"

"Tony."

Tony stood up and took a hesitant step forwards. Steve closed the gap between them and placed one hand on Tony's hip, and the other cupped Tony's cheek. "Let me show you?" he requested softly.

When Tony nodded, Steve leant down and pressed their lips together gently, nothing more than a chaste kiss, a promise of more.

"Dinner tonight?"

Tony nodded. "I'd… I'd love too."

* * *

**Written for; **

Disney - S1. The Great Divide - two people connecting despite a divide between them.

Showtime - 8. Leader

Film Festival - 12. Mistake

Funfair, North - Splash A Mod - Amber : Hurt/Comfort

Funfair, East - Pie Eating - Cherry : Romance

Funfair, South - Test Your Strength : Weakling Level - Hurt/Comfort

365\. 110. Religion

1000\. 22. Finicky


End file.
